Friday, April 29, 2011

heart-wrenching

today,
for the first time,
landon realized that he is different.

kaden and landon were sitting on my bed watching a movie.
they each had a bag of cereal in their hands.
landon was watching kaden grab a handful of cereal in one hand
and then grabbing them with his other hand and eating them.
landon then proceeded to try to do the same.
after a good effort,
he turned to me and said..
"mom, you help me open my hand?"
(even with my help, he was unable to keep the cereal in his hand)

as i sat back and watched this happen
it was terribly heart-wrenching and hard.
i watched his face expressions change
and the realization come to him.
i watched as disappointment covered his face.
as a mother to a boy with disabilities
i came to expect that one day he would realize that he wasn't
exactly like everyone else, but i never imagined it would happen at age THREE.

4 comments:

Mandee said...

Poor little guy! Maybe one day he will be able to use it a little better I will always hope and pray for the best for him. He is one amazing little guy and he is determined as all get out. Even if he doesn't he has over come a lot, since the doctor's said that he wouldn't even make it. Your an amazing mom and that's what Landon will know that you tried your best and that you will always be there for him. Love and miss you all. Way to make a person cry by the way.

Camille Rogers said...

I can't even imagine what that must have been like as a mother. Hugs.

Sissy Jackson said...

Babe, Im sorry. I remember when Hootie realized that HE was different. Kills ya. I know just how you feel. You ever need to cry you call me. But...this is what we do...WE our our children's voice. We protect more than we should and we lovelovelove them. I love ya...Keep your chin up.

Sheffers said...

Oh Julie, this just made me cry. You are seriously one amazing women and mother, and he will be just fine because he has one amazing mother! I can't imagine how hard it is to stand on the side lines and not be able to fix it. You both are my hero!